Throughout life, the sex drive ebbs and flows. It's frustrating, particularly for people of a certain age. After menopause, the sex drive may disappear altogether.
This is why women have turned to a recently approved drug called Addyi (flibanserin). Also known as “female Viagra,” Addyi has given hope to women looking to boost their libidos.
But what happens when it doesn’t work?
In truth, Addyi doesn’t work for everyone. And according to CNN, many in the medical community are questioning the FDA’s approval of the drug in general because research shows that it often fails.
So what are the women finding no luck with Addyi supposed to do next? The good news is that there are other options. Having plenty of time and an open mind may lead to experimental treatments that could work.
Get Excited – Outside the Bedroom
For starters, you can go for a good old adrenaline rush. According to Health, a study published in Archives of Sexual Behavior found that an adrenaline rush may boost sex drive by making you feel more into your partner.
“When you’re doing something exciting, your heart is racing and your nervous system is activated, much like they would be if you were sexually aroused,” Cindy Meston, Ph.D., the study’s lead researcher and co-author of Why Women Have Sex, tells Health.
So go out and do something that makes your palms sweat. If you’re feeling wild, give skydiving a try. And if you’re feeling tame, you can simply watch a scary movie.
You can also try making lifestyle changes like adding a workout to your routine. According to the Mayo Clinic, exercise may benefit low sex drive for a number of reasons. Not only can it make you feel better about yourself, but it also can boost mood.
And Health reports that because exercise improves circulation, it may increase blood flow to the genitals, making a romp in the hay better. Plus, toning your body just may make you want to show it off.
Bust Stress for a Better Time in Bed
Further, reduce stress, a well-known sex drive killer. Find areas of your life in which you can decrease stress. If driving the kids around all day works you up, talk to other parents about carpooling. Consider sharing meal duties with your spouse to make dinner prep stress-free.
And don’t talk about stressful things just before or after you get intimate. Keep red-hot topics like money and child care under wraps when the sheets heat up. Make sex about the moment at hand -- not all the stressors outside the bedroom.
Give meditation a try. According to Marsha Lucas, Ph.D., mindfulness meditation can actually be good for sex drive. This is a type of meditation focused on the present moment.
“A key factor in having better sex is actually being there when you’re having it. Being there not just physically -- being fully present, in thought, word and deed,” Lucas tells Mindful.org. “It isn’t about adding props or toys or costumes -- it’s about really showing up and tuning in, to the moment, yourself and your partner.”
Lucas says that mindfulness meditation may thicken the anterior insula inside the brain, which could help to heighten sensations. Plus, she says that a thicker insula can help to improve how you express emotion. It can even help you to tune into what your partner is feeling, which may better your lovemaking abilities in general.
Talk About Sex – and Do it!
And talk to your spouse or significant other about what’s going on in the sack. Be forthcoming about what turns you on and what doesn’t. Be spontaneous by trying new things. One fun option is to play a sex game that you purchase online to give you some direction. Or spice things up by blindfolding one another to add a little suspense to bedroom activities.
Try to plan time for sex so that a romp in the hay becomes a priority. We get so busy that we don’t find time for sex in general.
In this respect, “use it or lose it” is applicable. According to The North American Menopause Society, “regular vaginal sexual activity is important for vaginal health after menopause because it stimulates blood flow, helps keep your vaginal muscles toned, and maintains your vagina’s length and stretchiness.”
If you’re struggling with vaginal dryness, add a water-based lubricant, but have sex to preserve your vagina in general.
You also can try foods to improve sex drive. According to The Dr. Oz Show, beef and pumpkin seeds make for a great option because they’re filled with zinc. In fact, Dr. Oz describes zinc as “the ultimate sex mineral.”
Try strawberries dipped in chocolate. Dark chocolate (which Dr. Oz says should be made of 70 percent cocoa) is said to elevate dopamine. And dopamine and good sex are a team.
This is because dopamine is a “pleasure chemical.” Dopamine levels increase when we first fall in love. According to Psychology Today, this causes that famous inability to concentrate, a pounding heart and sleepless nights. However, these levels decrease as time goes on. That said, increasing dopamine levels can trigger the “heat of second honeymoons.”
Another option to try is asparagus. Oz says that asparagus is filled with folate. Folic acid is linked to histamine, which is released when we have “The Big O.”
So go ahead, try these natural methods to see if your sex drive increases. Keep a journal so that you remember what does and doesn’t work. And talk to your doctor about other options besides medication. He or she may suggest hormone therapy treatments and provide new suggestions for rekindling that spark.