If you’re like many women in America, you spent the late '90s and early 2000s glued to the tube watching Sex and the City. And if you didn’t, you might be hooked on reruns.
That’s because the dynamics of female friendships are addictive. They ebb and flow like relationships. We share our deepest, darkest secrets with our besties. And at times, we fight with them like lovers.
But what happens when things take a turn for the worse? And how do you know if your friendship is actually toxic?
To get to the bottom of toxic friendships, you’ve got to know just what this term means. A toxic friendship is one that doesn’t serve you well. In other words, it’s a friendship that does more harm than good, taking more from you emotionally than it gives.
"I would say it's someone who, after spending time with them, makes you feel bad about yourself instead of good; someone who tends to be critical of you -- sometimes in a subtle way and sometimes not so subtle…” Jenn Berman, Ph.D., a psychologist in private practice in Beverly Hills, Calif., tells WebMD.
The most important sign of a toxic friendship is a friend who makes you feel bad. In truth, friends should make you feel good. And while they might not always agree with your views, they should make you feel supported and loved -- even in the face of dispute.
Though the line can seem blurred, friendships turn toxic when one party drains the other. It’s like a bank account. When you’re in the red, you’ve reached a level of toxicity that isn’t healthy.