Your friends say you’ve been on pins and needles for weeks. And your husband has been avoiding you like the plague. An Internet search on relaxation reveals the obvious tips: yoga, bubble baths, nature walks and soothing lavender oil. But later that evening, a Facebook post catches your attention. It says four words: “Practice Mindfulness Meditation Daily.”
“What is that?” you think. “Is that just regular meditation?” The answer isn’t as complex as you would think. Mindfulness is an age-old concept that has gained massive popularity in recent years. That’s because we are living in a society that simply can’t slow down.
“Mindfulness is simply keeping one’s attention focused on the present moment,” says Dr. William R. Marchand, a psychiatrist, author and mindfulness teacher. “The concept of mindfulness is really quite simple. It’s the now.”
You would think that mindfulness involves some kind of supercharged effort. But it doesn’t.
“You don’t have to have a formal practice to be more mindful. In fact, you can be mindful at any time or in any place,” Marchand says. “For example, mindfulness can be practiced by focusing one’s attention on daily activities like driving, taking out the trash or checking e-mail. In other words, anything can be done mindfully.”
That said, how does mindfulness relate to meditation? And are mindfulness and mindfulness meditation the same thing?
According to Marchand, meditation is the formal practice of training one’s mind to keep attention where it is wanted. And mindfulness meditation is one of these ways.
“There are many different meditation techniques,” Marchand says. “Mindfulness meditation is just one of the many types available.”
The goal of mindfulness meditation is to keep the awareness on an exact moment in time. This differs from the typical “autopilot” state of mind for one very important reason.
“Autopilot is when the mind wanders -- thinking about the past, the future or something in between,” Marchand says. “But in a state of mindfulness, we keep our attention on the present, which is the exact opposite of autopilot.”
Experts say that mindfulness meditation is the solution to autopilot thinking. That’s because it redirects the mind to what’s going on -- right here, right now.
One of the most important parts of mindfulness is the ability to stay out of the chaos associated with a wandering mind. This, in itself, can be life-changing.
“Through mindfulness meditation, we experience thoughts and emotions. But we experience them as an observer – rather than being washed away by the never-ending torrent of cognitions and feelings that flood our minds,” Marchand says. “It’s like standing next to a river but watching from a safe distance instead of getting swept away.”
These concepts are joined in a useful way through mindfulness itself. Mindfulness is the attempt to stay in the present moment, and meditation is the act of consciously doing this.
“The crossover is that one typically learns to practice mindfulness by way of a formal meditation practice called mindfulness meditation -- and then expands the practice in order to spend as much of life as possible in a state of mindful awareness,” says Marchand. “In other words, mindfulness meditation is the foundation upon which a mindfulness practice is built.”
To begin a mindfulness meditation practice, Marchand suggests taking three steps. The first is committing to the practice itself on a daily basis.
“You have to put it on your calendar and stick with it like you would any appointment,” Marchand says. “It’s all about structure. Making it a habit is key.”
Part of this is picking a daily time and place that work for you. People wrongly assume that this process needs to be complex, but it doesn’t.
“There is no black or white way to plan a mindfulness meditation practice. You can meditate at any time,” Marchand says. “People often meditate first thing in the morning or before bedtime. But you can even meditate on your lunch break. The important thing is to block out the time and commit to it.”
That said, there are two important factors to consider when picking a meditation time and place. These factors revolve around how busy the time and place you have picked will be.
“You want to find a time that’s calm. For example, if you have young children, pick a time when they are asleep or at school or daycare,” Marchand says. “Also, let family members know the importance of your new routine and ask them not to disturb you during your practice.”
And be sure to find a spot that accommodates your end goal of peace and quiet. It’s not necessary to stick with just one spot, but it is important to find a soothing spot.
“Bedrooms, gardens and attics make for calming places,” Marchand says. “But a kitchen or living room, for instance, can be a high-traffic area that makes it tough to meditate.”
Remember that nothing is perfect -- meditation spots included. Let it be what it is.
“Don’t obsess about finding a space,” Marchand says. “You will begin to become mindful no matter what the surrounding circumstances as you grow in your practice.”
Once you’ve found a spot, try to personalize it. This adds to the ambiance of the experience.
“If it feels comfortable to you, you can add calming pictures, candles and even incense,” Marchand says. “But this is not a mandate. Again, there is no right or wrong way to meditate or pick a space for meditation.”
The third step is to set an amount of time to meditate. This keeps you from obsessing over the clock.
But how long should this amount of time be?
“You don’t want to meditate for so long that you set yourself up for burnout,” Marchand says. “Begin with five to 10 minutes. And then you can work your way up. Your maximum time spent meditating should be 35 to 40 minutes.”
Another important thing is to keep track of time with a preset device. This will keep you from getting distracted.
“Set a timer on a cell phone, or use a manual timer,” Marchand says. “But keep that timer out of sight. This will keep you from looking at it and getting distracted.”
Now that you know the steps involved in planning a practice, how do you actually meditate?
The most common type of mindfulness meditation is called “sitting meditation.” This is a cornerstone of a mindfulness practice.
“Sitting is a foundational practice,” Marchand says. “Your goal is to focus on the present moment, using the breath as an anchor.”
To begin, sit upright in a firm chair with your back straight. In addition, relax your hands in your lap and place both feet on the floor.
“Take a deep breath, and on the exhalation, relax the muscles throughout your body,” Marchand says. “Now close your eyes or loosely focus on the floor a few feet in front of you. Make an attempt to be in the present moment.”
Next, move your awareness to the breath. The breath is your anchor.
“Take long, deep breaths,” Marchand says. “And notice the sensations. How does it feel when the air comes in and out through your nose? How does it feel when your chest and belly rise and expand?”
Now begin to count. This helps with focus.
“Counting breaths takes you to a state of mindfulness,” Marchand says. “One inhalation and one exhalation is a cycle. Inhale, exhale…one. Inhale, exhale…two. Inhale, exhale…three.”
And don’t think that your mind needs to be perfectly calm. This is a common erroneous assumption that new meditators make.
“Autopilot thoughts will kick in, and your mind will wander. That’s normal,” Marchand says. “When this happens, refocus your attention on the breath. This is your anchor. Be gentle with yourself and try to refrain from judgment.”
Finally, when your timer goes off, transition out of meditation. But do this gently.
“Slowly shift your attention back to wherever you are,” Marchand says. “Let your breaths return to normal.”
At the end of your meditation, thank yourself for a job well done. You have just taken the time to do something amazing for yourself.
So now you know what mindfulness and mindfulness meditation mean. Remember these important tools the next time stress takes hold.