It's likely in good company. Keeping a sex life alive can be a challenge. In long-term relationships, sex can become predictable and boring. Add a busy schedule and financial pressure to this reality and a guy’s sex drive may take a hit.
Not sure what can be done to get him in the mood? Fear not, we’ve got that covered.
Here are 10 ways to supercharge his sex drive. Some are blatant and bold, and others are more sneaky and subtle. One size doesn't fit all -- so take what works and customize it to the relationship.
1. The Naughty Nightie Number (Wink)
If you’ve ever seen Twilight’s “Breaking Dawn,” you know that Bella had to work to get the A-OK from Edward. And one of the ways she does this is by prancing by him in a hot little nightie.
While we all might not all be Kristen Stewart, hot and young, there’s something to be said about this bold behavior. Guys love sexy stuff. And they love confidence.
So stop worrying about your age and weight and break out that special little number. If you don’t have a naughty nightie, head to Victoria's Secret or Lane Bryant. You’ll be flooded with options.
At the end of the day, remember he vowed through thick and thin, in sickness and in health. No matter how you look, just the thought of this gesture will put him in the mood and make him smile.
2. Wine-and-Candle Night
A gal doesn’t have to be wild to get her guy’s mindset on sex. In fact, nothing sets the mood like a good bottle of wine and a few softly flickering candles.
Pick a special night and send the kids packing with grandma and grandpa or a favorite babysitter. Then get out that dusty cookbook and create a sensual feast. Top it off with a favorite Chardonnay, a few candles... and voila -- it WILL be a night to remember.
3. Sexy Surprise Lap Dance
The day and age of lap dances being reserved for seedy strip clubs has come and gone. Home lap dances for the hubby or significant other are hot.
Approach this mood-setting gem in one of two ways. The first is to get some solo practice and learn how to give one heck of a lap dance. There are even books and videos that teach some slick moves.
For those feeling social, consider taking a pole dancing or burlesque class. These types of classes have taken off like wildfire. And best of all, participants burn calories while perfecting the moves of professionals.
4. Massage
Ok, so maybe the husband or significant other is distracted by television or Bejeweled Blitz. Fear not, there’s a solution for that.
Not only is home massage relaxing, it can be highly sensual. Start with a simple shoulder rub. Then work down to his lower back. When the mood strikes, start to kiss his neck. The hands-on approach definitely sets the stage for some memorable sexy time.
5. Public Display of Affection
Sometimes, subtle hints are the key to lighting that flame. This is especially true when a man doesn’t expect these gestures.
One of the best places to do this is in a movie theater. If holding hands, slowly slide the hand onto his thigh. It will be a matter of moments before he has sex on the brain.
While at home, try this while he’s watching TV. Just be careful when choosing the right time to bust a move. In other words, don’t try to get him in the mood while he’s watching his favorite sports team in a playoff game. This is a felony when it comes to sports 101.
6. P is for Porn
Porn may have a bad rap, but it can make for a pretty unpredictable adventure. Especially if porn isn’t something that's the norm in an individual's sex regimen. Nothing says spicy like adding an edge.
If it feels right, try watching an adult video. And remember that not all sexy movies have to be trashy. In fact, search hard enough, and it's possible to find a soft-core thriller complete with plots and bearable acting -- or is that bareable? A good example of this is Basic Instinct.
7. Active Aggression
Not all romantic interludes are meant to be long and sensual. Sometimes a stolen quickie can be a guy’s dream.
The key to this scenario is to catch him off guard. Climb on top of him when he least expects it and shower his neck with sensual kisses. Then reach for the family jewels. For an even bigger surprise, consider planting a path of kisses all the way to his nether regions. Then pleasure him with oral sex.
Just remember that this exercise is all about being the aggressor. Catch him off guard by changing up the routine. After all, change is one of the greatest ways to rekindle a burned out sex life.
8. Romantic Evening Out
Remember the days when there was actually a date night? The truth is many of us get so busy in our lives that we stop making the time for romance.
So plan a romantic evening out. Choose an all-time favorite hangout, or pick a new restaurant that neither of you has tried. This will take his mind off of life’s pressures and onto more sensual endeavors.
9. Hair, Makeup... aaaand Heels
It’s a busy world. And this can make it difficult to find the time to primp. The goal of this exercise is simple: take the time to make yourself feel sexy.
It doesn’t matter what style one chooses. Do what feels right. If sexy comes in the form of heels and hot hair, go big or go home. And if sexy comes in the form of a little lipstick and a cute pair of jeans, that’s great too.
The point is that if a woman feels sexy, her attitude will reflect this. So take some time to perfect you -- and then show it off to him. Men love confidence, and this can set the mood for an unforgettable evening.
10. The “No-Pantie Nooner”
We’ve saved the craziest idea for last. For those feeling wild, this will definitely stir things up.
Consider meeting the significant other at a fave lunch (or dinner) spot in a dress or a hot pair of skinny jeans. But leave those panties at home (or in the purse).
Yes, that's right. It's time for a no-pantie nooner.
To set the mood, start a simple (yet coy) conversation. Begin with “I’ve got a secret, and I’ll give you three guesses to figure out what it is.” As he guesses (and is probably wrong), give him those cute seductive looks he loves. Finally, when he can’t guess, whisper “I’m not wearing any panties” in his ear. It will shock the pants off him... literally.
P.S. For those who don't feel brave enough to do this in public, try it at home. It’s the anticipation that will drive him wild.