These days, everyone seems to be in therapy. And if you’re not, you just may one day try it. Don’t be embarrassed of this possibility. The days of the stigma associated with seeing a shrink have come and gone.

But how do you know if therapy is actually working?

When it comes to analyzing the efficacy of therapy, assess how your life has changed through therapy and how you feel about therapy in general. This is about knowing where you were when you started and how far you have come in the process.

Sure, you might get angry with your therapist, but that doesn’t mean that therapy isn’t effective. Sometimes, what we don’t want to hear is exactly what we need to hear. And we naturally resist change in general, meaning that we unknowingly may fight the therapist when it comes to moving forward.

So how do you decide whether or not your shrink is a match? Here are five questions that you can ask to see just how effective your therapy is.

1. Does my therapist “get me?”

As weird as this concept is, therapy involves a relationship of sorts. And according to Psych Central, one of the greatest determiners of therapy's efficacy involves the quality of that relationship. 

In short, you’ve got to have a connection. You need to feel close to and trusting of your therapist. But at the same time, you should feel as if your therapist respects your boundaries. This doesn’t mean that your therapist shouldn’t push you -- he or she should. However, you should feel as if your therapist communicates with you in a way in which you are comfortable. 


That said, if the connection isn’t there, you may want to look elsewhere. You can break up with a therapist, as strange as that sounds. 

And if you don’t want to start over, you can take another route. You can work together with your therapist to improve communication. Call your therapist out if you feel uncomfortable. Come up with ways that you can better communicate to be better understood. After all, it’s your life we’re talking about here. At the end of the day, therapy is about YOU.


2. Are my therapist and I on the same page?

We set goals in life. If we didn’t, we would wander around without a sense of direction. The same concept applies to therapy. However, you need to make sure that your goals are the same as the goals of your therapist. 

According to the American Psychological Association (APA), clear goals should be set when therapy begins. That said, many goals take time to reach. If you feel like you’re not reaching them, ask your therapist how long he or she expects that it will take to reach those goals. Be clear in this respect. 

It's OK to set timelines regarding goals. Life is about goal setting with time frames. So ask your therapist to help you lay out a plan to give you direction. Plus, you will be able to look back at those goals to determine just how effective therapy has been. 


3. Do I feel relieved?

Relief is a big thing when it comes to how effective therapy is. So look for those “aha” moments. These are signs that therapy is working. 


But why is this important?

According to the APA, patients can struggle when it comes to discussing difficult things. After all, it’s no fun to drum up past drama or hurt. But when you feel a sense of relief or hope, this means that you’re moving in a direction of exploration. This is a sign that therapy is indeed effective. 

In this process, ask yourself how much you’ve opened up to your therapist. Are there issues that you were once afraid to discuss that have been laid out on the table? If so, you’re probably on the right track. 

Just make sure not to shut down once those issues are uncovered. You may take two steps back and one step forward in the process, but the important thing is that you are moving ahead. 

So sit down and think about what issues you have overcome. Make a list if this feels comfortable to you. What were you afraid to face that you have now delved into? How has your life changed in general? Have your relationships improved? Has your depression lessened? These are all determiners of how effective therapy has been. 


4. Am I comfortable dishing out your deepest, darkest secrets?

In truth, therapy is about laying it all on the line. This probably won’t happen for quite some time, but it should happen at some point. This is why you need to ask yourself if you’re comfortable dishing out your most deeply guarded secrets.


That said, don’t beat yourself up in this process. People rarely open up right away. In this respect, think about how long you’ve been in therapy. If you just started, you probably have a long way to go. 

And remember that you may need to push yourself to open up. If you’re struggling, ask your therapist for help. You’re not in this alone. Your therapist is your team captain and your greatest cheerleader. 


5. Is my heart looking elsewhere?

Thinking of having a therapy affair? This may be a red flag that therapy isn't working. And it can be an eye-opener in the way of moving into a new realm of treatment.

According to Psychology Today, there’s something to be said for a “nagging feeling that there may be other treatment options.” This is why you need to ask yourself if your heart is looking elsewhere. In truth, there may be other options that are a better fit for you. 

Psychology Today suggests talking to your therapist about alternative treatment options. This will help you to make an educated decision. Your therapist may think that treatment is going well, but he or she can still help you to navigate the waters.