And planning for either is no fun. Although most of us don’t want to face our own mortality, it’s a fact of life. The reality is that your affairs need to be handled sooner rather than later. Regardless of whether you have 10 months or 10 years left, it’s important to plan for the future because it might be closer than you think.
The last thing you want to do is leave your loved ones high and dry. For the sake of both you and your nearest and dearest, it’s important to be proactive. It’s better to be safe the sorry.
Among the most pertinent decisions are the care that is to be given, documents to be filed, plans for finances and estate, and wishes and fears. Whether you are planning for the end of your life or the life of a loved one, it can be hard to talk about what might happen in the event of incapacitation or sudden death. However difficult the discussion might be, not having it could be even more detrimental down the line.
With no plans in place, the final say could fall upon a family member to decide about care, treatment, documents, finances and final wishes. Leaving someone to make those choices without the input of the individual in question might cause additional problems, like infighting among the family or mishandling of final documents.
In order to help prevent such situations, here are five decisions that should be handled today for a less painful tomorrow.
5. Your Estate
What exactly goes into financial planning for the end of life? Many people don’t know the differences between a Last Will and Testament, a Living Will and a Living Trust. For example, a Living Trust might be part of your estate planning because it can shift ownership of assets to someone else while the person at the end of his or her life is still living. However, choosing from these documents could be best decided with a lawyer or accountant.
Some things you might want to consider about your estate are:
• estimating the value of all your assets combined;
• estimating your cash flow;
• adding up your net worth;
• identifying after death debts and expenses;
• appraising long-term care costs; and
• storing the documentation of your estate.
4. Your Final Documents
Often, end-of-life documents can be confusing. Some people just don’t know what is important to document. Additionally, the types of documentation needed cover a range of issues that can occur at the end of life. For example, many people advocate for writing an Advance Directive. An Advance Directive can cover issues like end-of-life care and who will carry out final wishes. Also, an Advance Directive can discuss Power of Attorney.
Some states, like California, require that an Advance Directive form be filed with the state so that it can be documented properly. Also, the state of California’s Office of the Attorney General suggests gathering information for an Advance Directive with crucial people, like doctors and family. Starting with a doctor can help a person find out what type of care is possible. Then it’s the Last Will and Testament, a Living Will and Living Trust.
3. Your Care Options
Similar to an Advance Directive, there is a Living Will. While a Living Trust transfers assets, a Living Will documents wishes for being kept alive after a person can live no longer without the help of machines. Discussing your care options allows a person to decide about end-of-life care without interference.
Without discussing such matters and putting them in writing, there can be problems if a dying person becomes unable to make his or her own decisions. A document professing the dying person’s decisions about end-of-life care, like a Living Will or Advance Directive, is recommended to avoid any confusion among physicians or family members.
2. Your Wishes and Fears
One of the hardest things to talk about could be your wishes and concerns. However, there is never a bad time to talk with loved ones about your feelings. You might discuss how you’d like your estate to be handled and the fears you have about who can carry out those estate wishes. In addition, you may consider talking about specifics about your funeral and/or burial.
It can be beneficial to discuss wishes and fears long before it is time to consider them. Usually, people don’t want to consider their end-of-life wishes or fears because it is unpleasant. However, not having a plan in the event of terminal illness or incapacitation could be even more unpleasant. While loved ones try to figure out what you’d want, their problems might have been solved if your desires had been disclosed.
1. Your Medical Decisions
Often, the biggest medical decisions people have to make for loved ones who are at the end of life are whether to resuscitate and/or utilize machines. Sometimes, people at the end of their lives require the assistance of breathing machines or feeding tubes. Frequently, the patient does not disclose the medical decisions for DNR or machine-assisted living before he or she becomes debilitated.
For example, journalist Charles Ornstein had to make those decisions for his mother and recounted his story on ProPublica. She was admitted to the hospital for nausea and vomiting; when doctors tried to introduce a nasogastric tube, her heart stopped. After resuscitation, Charles and his family were then left with the decision of whether to let their mother live with the aid of machines. It was a tough decision to make, one that no family should have to endure.
Don’t Wait
One of the most incredible things about life is no one knows what the future holds. For some, the sentiment is exciting. For others, it is downright frightening. Planning often can make life’s surprises a bit easier to face.
That is why having the discussion about end-of-life issues before they become a concern could help you and your loved ones handle incapacitation or sudden death with less stress. Losing someone already causes grief and heartache; why add stress and guilt to the equation, too? Don’t wait to talk about important end-of-life topics.